Bottling it Up
by MollieWTF
Summary: Stacey Potter, Harry's twin sister. Follow her through her fifth year. How will she handle Umbridge and her blooming romances whilst dealing with her emotional scars that she is yet to come to terms with? -Keeping secrets for so long, it confuses you until you don't remember why you're keeping them any more.- Stacey Potter
1. Chapter 1

A loud crash sounded from downstairs. I jumped out of my skin in fright. I'm not normally this scared but at the moment I'm harbouring the fear that the ministry are going to arrest me. Around twenty minutes ago I received my howler, informing me that I had promptly been expelled following my illegal activities.  
It's not nearly as bad as it sounds. It wasn't even my fault, in fact, and it's not nearly as awful as when Harry inflated Aunt Marge, I mean, he was let off scott free! My magic imploded and the shock wave knocked my cousin and Uncle out.  
I know that they're only knocked out as I can still hear their breathing. It was steady and regular, assuring me I had committed no crimes as severe as to be worthy of Azkaban as punishment. However, the dark of the room was beginning to numb my senses and with the loud, irregular noises sounding from downstairs I needed to be alert.  
A deep gravelly voice resonated from outside the door opposite me. There was a muffled click and light peeped through the crack below the door. There was an exchange of words which I had extreme difficulty deciphering when I heard Harry. Harry! I haven't seen him in a while. Must be around two weeks, although my perception of time could be slightly off as I've been trapped in here and the cupboard with no regular anything to mark the passage of time. The light at the doorway expanded as the hinges creaked open. I shuffled back on the bed as far as I could, the handcuff preventing me from moving too far back, as was it's intention I suppose. I hunched over, attempting to hide my underwear clad body from the possible intruders.  
Harry's face came into view. He was skinnier than I expected. He was privileged with fairly regular meals, and although they were bound to have been frugal, he shouldn't have lost this much weight in only two weeks. He blinked a few times, taking in the sight before him, I can only imagine what it looks like. He strode over to me and embraced me in a long awaited hug. This felt nice, The good kind of contact that only Harry could provide. Not dirty or wrong, just Harry. He stepped back and handed me his jacket. I raised my left hand to his expectant face and he frowned, fingering the chain.  
"What..?" he questioned low.y, his voice thick with annoyance. I answered with a simple shake of my head. He draped the jacket on my shoulders, trying to give me some coverage.  
"There are people, Stace. They're taking us away." he murmured, looking at the door way. There stood three people, two of which I knew. Professor Moody and my God father Remus. He looked much the same as ever but he looked more exhausted than usual, his brow wrinkled in what I imagine as confusion as he took in the sight before him. Completely understandable though. On the floor, a fat old man completely passed out. A large bed with a knocked out, overweight teenager half on, half off of it, The stench of alcohol and the empty beer bottles greeting him, which I'm sure he had no trouble smelling, even without his werewolf senses, Then me, Sitting in the middle of a king bed in my bra and knickers with Harry's oversized jacket draped over me, a handcuff on my wrist stretched to the limit as I subtly tried to scoot further away.  
Remus looked at me, his mouth trying to form words, yet failing. I was saved from my telling off by Harry, who had caught sight of the official ministry seal on the tatters of paper on the floor.  
"Stace, you got a howler! What did you do?" he exclaimed, rather stupidly as the answer was rather obvious.  
"Under age magic." I whispered, cut short as my voice was unexpectedly quiet and rough from lack of use. I cleared my throat. "Obviously." I added with as much of a smirk as I could manage, "Definitely not my fault though, my magic imploded and knocked them out." I nodded to our unconscious relatives.  
"Good aim." Harry grinned at me. "I've missed you. Not seen you all summer, we've only got a week left!"  
I glared at him, alarmed and disbelieving "It's been five weeks? I thought it had only been a fortnight!" I whispered the last sentence, cautious of any adults over hearing. It's none of their business what happens at the Dursley's. In fact, it would only cause unnecessary complications for me, and Harry, if they were to understand. Harry nodded, confirming the passing of time. My meals had been far less frequent than I'd thought, which would mean that I must be incredibly ill looking currently. That's been a rather common occurrence throughout my childhood though, I'm just worried about Mrs Weasley's reaction.  
Professor Moody's voice drew my attention back over to his side of the room, where Remus was still failing to speak. "Sorry to interrupt," he muttered sarcastically "but we need to be leaving." Harry immediately stood to leave but I remained curled up on the bed.  
"Come on Stace." Harry called from the door, half way through.  
"No." I uttered, causing the three adults and Harry to pause their movements and stare at me. I shifted uncomfortably.  
"Problem, Potter?" Moody growled both his eyes glaring into me.  
"Um," I stuttered, "I understand that you want to take us away but I don't... Where... How do we know we can trust you?" I finally finished, raising my eyes from my hands clasped in front of me to look at the group.  
And odd look came over Remus' face, "It's me, Stace, Remus. Your godfather? I'd never do anything to hurt you."  
I shook my head "No, I know that. I haven't lost my memory. I know who you are. I understand your intentions but how... how do I know you're who you say you are? No offence meant, of course, but I'm not going to be leaving here with a bunch of death eaters in disguise." I said this nervously. How would they react to my suspicions.  
Professor Moody started chuckling, his magic eye revolving rapidly, "She's a lot smarter than you, isn't she Potter," he said looking at Harry. He looked back at me "Aye, it's good to have a suspicious mind in times like these."  
Harry looked at me weirdly his eyes scanning my face cautiously. " You don't think that I-" he started before I cut him off.  
"No Harry, obviously not." I turned my attention to my godfather. "How do you open the Marauder's Map?" I questioned him hesitantly, fearing his reaction. Moody was still chuckling to himself, nudging the woman with pink hair besides him.  
"You tap with your wand and say: I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Remus answered carefully, confusion clouding his eyes.  
I smiled, that was good enough. "Let's go then!" I made to stand up as everyone turned away only to be yanked back towards the mattress by the handcuff.  
"Um..." I called awkwardly to the adults who were now making progress down the hall. Remus turned back, staring at me. I raised my hand, not really knowing what to say. He looked at my arm and as he comprehended what the issue was his eyes darkened, the creases in his brow deepening. He waved his wand and the cuff released. He lowered his wand but didn't turn away.  
Remus continued to stare at me as he whispered "What's going on Stace?" I could barely hear him, his voice low and ever so slightly threatening. If I'm being honest I'd tell you that it startled me and that I drew my cold legs closer to my chest in a pathetic attempt at protection from the hypothetical attack. He made to step forward, raising an arm out to me beseechingly, when it happened again.  
Raw magic ripped through me, a blinding flash shooting through my head, my lightening scar burning cold. My eyes clamped down sharply, not wanting to see the consequences of weakness. How could I do that? Why do I keep losing control?


	2. Chapter 2

"Stace?" Harry's gentle voice called through to me. I slowly opened my eyes and stared at him uncomprehendingly. Why was he still awake? Hell, how is he even standing? He shouldn't be. The male Dursleys were out faster than Malfoy runs away from Professor Moody. I glanced over at Remus. Oh dear. He's leaning against the door frame, the ragged remains of his protego dimming from view. It seems my magic ripped through it. Well, it's fortunate he didn't get the full blast. Still though...  
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean for-" I tried to explain what had happened but was cut off by Remus.  
"Let's go. Tonks has your trunk Stacy." Oh shit! He used my full name. No one uses my full name, with the exception of Remus when he's angry. Is he going to punish me?  
I allowed Harry to drag me off of the bed and into my room. I say my room... My cupboard. It used to be both our cupboard but Harry moved out when we were eleven so... My cupboard. Harry was given a room which is very, very lucky. I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a top which Tonks hadn't packed and slipped on my dirty old boots. They used to be Dudley's, they were a present. Quite generous of the Dursleys, really.  
Professor Moody explained that we would be riding. I don't own a broom any more so I thought I'd have to ride with Harry, Wrong, I was promptly informed that I would have to ride with Remus. Obviously, two years ago when I first met him this wouldn't have been a problem. But now, I just don't want to. We're leaving here now so I'm in control again. I don't want to be that close to anyone, ever. Except Harry. Harry is the only good kind of contact, that will never turn bad. I trust Harry, always have. We trust each other with everything.  
I leaned as far back as I could on the broomstick, practically sitting on the twigs at the end. My hands rested as lightly on Remus' shoulders as they could without resulting in me falling to my death.  
We soon landed in a street. I dismounted the broom and stepped away from the others as fast as possible, the close contact during the flight making me uncomfortable. As I stared ahead of me, not daring to look at the others, I observed a large row of houses joined together. Suspicion flared in the back of my mind. Where are we? I don't recognise this place. I thought that we'd be going to the Burrow. They've taken us. It'll be exactly the same as Privet drive. My panicking mind noticed that there was a house missing between 11 and 13. I reported this observation to Mad Eye, cautious of his reaction. He sharply hushed me, turning back to Harry who held a scrap of paper in his hand.  
I kept my eyes on Harry's face trying not to run, to just get away from all the dangers. he concentrated on the piece of paper, eyes flickering over it slowly. Like Barty Crouch Jnr's before he... _Harry, _focus. He'd had a hair cut and it suited him quite well, though it was still just long enough to cover his scar at the front. His face was thinner, though whether that is the result of lack of food or growth I don't know. I hope it's the latter, it probably is. Over the years I've noticed that the Dursleys are much more tolerable of Harry. On Dudley's eleventh birthday punished for the snake incident. I was the one that still slept, curled up in a cramped ball on the floor of the cupboard. In our third year Harry ran away for the last week of summer. Who was punished? Me. But the last two years have really topped the lot. Dudley and Uncle realised that they couldn't treat Harry as normal because of their fear that the murderer Sirius Black would kill them in their sleep. So their pent up aggravation towards Harry turned to me. First it was just Uncle, but now Dudley's sixteen... Every time Harry does something wrong I get the brunt of the repercussions. Don't misunderstand, I will always prefer that I am punished over Harry, he means so much to me, but-  
I flinched from under the hand on my shoulder, my gaze breaking from Harry's face. Remus stood above me, lightly pushing me towards the row of houses. I looked away, not quite comprehending the look in his eyes.  
"Go on." He murmured. I cautiously stepped towards the row, registering that a house had appeared. Was it a trick, a trap? I saw Harry waiting for me by the front door looking slightly impatient. I sped up, my face briefly illuminated by a street lamp. Remus' hold on my shoulder tightened slightly. This was probably the first time he had seen my face since collecting me from Privet drive. According to Dudley and Uncle my looks haven't exactly improved since last year. That would probably explain Remus's reaction. Foul people deserve foul treatment, to quote Aunt. Though Remus chose not to comment.  
I stopped at the thresh hold of the house. Should I go in? I mean, really? This all seemed a bit to fortunate to be true, being removed from the Dursleys' care and taken to people that would keep us _safe. _I'm still a bit doubtful. Harry's already in there though, and I can't let him face whatever's waiting alone. I shrugged my shoulder out of Remus' grip as I stepped into the house, venturing into the hallway. I was grabbed. The person held me tightly in their arms. I tried to struggle. I was to weak to put up much of a fight. Harry was next to me, our shoulders brushing. It was okay. Harry was there. I was released, revealing the face of Mrs Weasley. She tapped our faces, me pulling back.  
"Bit peaky." she spoke quietly, in a hushed whisper. Her eyes lingered on me "but we'll soon fix that." Fix that? what did she mean? She almost sounded like... No. Not like them. It's Mrs Weasley.  
And incredibly shrill scream broke me from my inner turmoil. I shrank down, being reminded of Petunia's shouts. And what always followed. A figure stormed past me and shouted at a frame on the wall, yanking it's faded crimson curtains shut. The deafening screeches stopped.  
The man who closed the curtains turned and I identified him as Sirius. His hair had been cut to chin length and he didn't have any facial hair. He looked healthier than when I last saw him, but old. Older than he should have looked. Perhaps it was his time in Azkaban that had added a few years to his features.  
A large grin broke out on his face. "Harry, Stace." he called, opening his arms. Harry ran forwards, embracing the man. I stayed back, edging slightly behind Tonks, not meeting Sirius' questioning gaze. It was his fault. When I look back I realise this. If he wasn't here then the Dursleys wouldn't have felt the need to refrain from shouting at Harry which would have meant that they wouldn't have started abusing me even more than normal. Obviously, I'm not deluded enough to think that it wouldn't have happened at all but maybe not as much? Anyway, the point is if Sirius hadn't decided to show up I wouldn't be as fucked up as I am now. I... I don't even hate him. I couldn't hate him, he means so much to Harry. I suppose I can take the Dursleys' anger if it means Harry is even a little happy. But I still don't want to go near him. Even if he doesn't know it, he has still caused so many bad things. Maybe he does know it, maybe the Dursley's are right? All these people only want Harry, not me. What if he's-  
I dragged myself from my mind, knowing I would just end up thinking in circles if I carried on. I flicked my gaze from Tonks' brightly coloured hair back to the rest of the room. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Stace?" Sirius called to me, releasing Harry. Everyone turned. Tonks, Professor Moody, Remus, Mr and Mrs Weasley and Professor Snape all looked at me. I shifted slightly, looking at Harry nervously. He grinned and nodded enthusiastically, I assume to hint to me to follow his greeting of our godfather. I don't think so, Harry.  
"Hi Sirius." I muttered, just loud enough for him to hear, not looking up to assess his or anyone else's reactions. There was an awkward pause until Mrs Weasley ushered us upstairs to our rooms. We were sharing with Ron. From our previous visits Mrs Weasley had learnt that Harry and I would be sleeping in the same room if we could, whether she placed us there or not. I pushed past the people in the crowded hallway to get to the staircase Harry was already climbing. I could feel the adults looking at me, judging me. As I passed Sirius I couldn't bring myself to look at him, not wanting to see the man that was the cause of all this pain. I hastily followed Harry, escaping before they tried to act on their judgements.  
As I entered Ron's room I was greeted by Hermione speaking very fast in a very shrill tone about how we hadn't done anything wrong. Especially me apparently.  
"Your's was a complete accident and they can't hold it against you. In fact, your age really works in your favour!" I tuned out after that. I hadn't thought much about the trial. Expelled. I've been expelled from Hogwarts. I've been kicked out of my home. I'll be left with the Dursleys all year round, no breaks.  
My attention was brought back by the sound of my dear twin yelling. His face was tinged red, similar to Uncle's when he's angry... Focus. He seemed like he was reaching the end of a rant. Probably about how no one's contacted us. Well, they probably have tried but there was no chance of me receiving any. There was a loud crack. Fred and George appeared around the foot of Ron's bed. They looked as mischievous as ever, grins gracing their faces as they schemed.  
First, they addressed Harry in, as always, complete synchronization "Lovely to hear your dulcet tones, Harry." They winked, then turned to the rest of us. "But we've got something much better to do." They both turned on their heels, Fred motioning for us to follow as they speedily walked away.  
We followed them, leading towards the banister of the staircase Harry and I had climbed earlier. As we came to a halt George pulled something from his pocket, holding it up to us. It was an ear, I think, attached to a long piece of flesh coloured string.  
"It's an extendable ear." they informed us, At the blank look on our faces they continued "Used to listen in on their," they nodded their heads at the door between us and the Order "meetings!" With that they slowly lowered the ear to the ground floor. Suddenly voices flooded around us.  
"-thing needs to be done!" It was Remus but, surprisingly, he sounded angry. No, furious.  
"How did you say you found her? And keep your voice down!" Mrs Weasley began with a questioning tone but became stern towards the end.  
"In her underwear, handcuffed to a bed." Remus spat. "She's pale, she's thin - they haven't been feeding her, surely you can see that Albus?!"  
"Aye, she thought it'd only been two weeks into the holidays, and they hadn't seen each other once." Professor Moody growled. Oh shit, are they talking about me? I glanced around at the others. They all seemed entranced by the conversation, even Harry. I shuffled away from them slightly.  
"She keeps flinching when we touch her. Even when Molly hugged her! _Molly_, of all people! Hell, she wouldn't even look at Sirius!" Remus hissed.  
Professor Dumbledore's voice floated around my head "Ah yes, Sirius, do you have any idea why she would be so reluctant to come into contact with you? I don't believe she's shown any signs in the past."  
"I-I don't know! I mean, I'm her godfather for Merlin's sake! How can she be afraid of me, I've never done anything to hurt her, and I never will!" Sirius declared. Right, he knew exactly what he'd been doing. He must've been doing it on purpose.  
"Be that as it may, Black, that does not stop her being afraid." Professor Snape's slick voice surrounded me. "And, as regrettable as it is, she is not entirely stupid. There must be something to support her sudden fear of you or she would not be avoiding you."  
"Unless, of course, it's not sudden." Dumbledore interjected "Did you notice anything unusual about her behaviour after the maze last year, Sirius?"  
"I didn't speak to her much. Remus was with her and I was with Harry... But I did notice, she wouldn't look at me. At all."  
"Just to add..." Tonks interrupted "In that cupboard where Harry said all her things were stored, I think she's been _sleeping_ in it. When she wasn't in that boy's room. And, as Mad-Eye said, they hadn't seen each other all summer!"  
"Do you think, Albus?" Professor McGonagall whispered this so quietly that I had to lean closer to the others to hear "That, Stace, that they raped her?"  
I heard Dumbledore sigh. "It's a possibility but we can't be sure until she tells us. I have a feeling that this may be a large amount more complicated than just that, though" he sounded tired, weary even "If we can get confirmation we'll have to act immediately-"  
The rest of their discussion was cut off as Crookshanks pulled the Extendable Ear away. Rather than putting up a fight like I expected, George just allowed it to slide out of his hands. I looked up at my friends. They stared back at me in silence. Their expressions ranged, confusing me. I backed up slightly, my shoulder brushing against the dirty wall paper in the landing. They looked worried, I don't understand. What's wrong? I couldn't move any further away and I felt trapped. I looked for my safety. Harry. He looked at me, his eyes looking sad, the corners of his mouth turned down.  
I pressed my back flat against the wallpaper, the damp smell intensifying. "Don't... Don't be sad Harry. Why are you sad? Talk to me!" I implored him. Is something wrong? I'd tried so hard to protect him, what had I done wrong.  
"What?" he whispered harshly, his sad expression slowly morphing into fury. "Yo're worried about me?" he asked incredulously. I nodded, my eyebrows drawing together, trying to work out what was wrong. I looked to the others, hoping for some hints but they all looked the same, sad bordering on angry. Why? What's everyone sad about. Is it me? I haven't done anything wrong! They're all angry at me!  
"Stace..." Harry started, stepping towards me slowly.  
He was interrupted by Mrs Weasley calling us down for dinner. I still don't understand though, why are they looking at me like that?  
During dinner everyone kept shooting me looks. Some were subtle and barely noticeable, but others, like the twins, Ginny and Hermione. But Remus, Sirius and Harry kept staring at me, searching my face, looking for something. I doubt they'll find what they're looking for. Dudley makes me wear cover up so he doesn't have to see too much of my my unattractive features and Uncle, well, I think he'd rather I wear a bag over my head, but then he wouldn't have access to my mouth... Focus!  
I continued to pick at my food, not really used to the ridiculously large portion Mrs Weasley had given me. I discreetly looked towards Harry, who was stood with his back to the wall with Sirius and Remus facing him. They were talking about something serious, Harry had an intense look on his face and he spoke in hurried whispers. His face became defeated, his posture slumped against the wall, and Remus put a consoling hand on his shoulder. Was he hurt? Were they hurting him? I pondered what could be wrong with my twin for a few minutes until some one grabbed my wrist. I snatched it back and held it to my chest, my chair screeching slightly against the cool tiled floor. I looked up to see Sirius' eyeing me with concern.  
"You need to come with me to the other room." he explained in a gentle voice. I promptly shook my head, lowering my gaze. If I looked at him for too long he'd get angry, just like Uncle. "All the others will be in there, including Remus and Mrs Weasley." He said as he ducked slightly so he could catch my gaze. I'm too scared to look away. "Would you like me to bring Harry in with you?" My eyes widened. He was threatening Harry! If I don't go now he'll take Harry in too. Uncle threatens it all the time. Okay. For Harry.  
I shook my head and followed Sirius out of the Dining room, hopefully going unnoticed by the others. He lead me into a room that was slightly smaller than where we were eating. There was a table, smaller than the one in the dining room, but large enough to seat seven or eight people at least. Remus, Mrs Weasley, Mr Weasley, Mad-eye, Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore sat around it with two seats spare. Sirius sat in the one opposite McGonagall so I was left sitting in front of the Headmaster.


	4. Chapter 4

I looked down at my hands. I could feel their gazes on me. Trying to work out what was happening, what they didn't know. There's a reason that they don't know things. Only Dumbledore was refraining from looking at me. He was staring above my head. I looked up. His blue eyes were fixed on a point behind me.  
"Now, Miss Potter. Don't be alarmed. We just need you to answer a few questions." Dumbledore voiced.  
I filled myself with fake confidence, trying to put on a face of normality. This is what I need to do, they can't find out. "Of course Headmaster, is it about the Hearing?"  
"No, it's not. We were wondering about the circumstances of which we found you, Miss Potter. You know what I speak of, I assume?" he still didn't look at me. The others seated around the table were still staring, Remus and Sirius leaning towards me slightly, as if anticipating my answer.  
"I really don't have a clue, Sir." I lied with a small laugh towards the end. An almost knowing look came over Dumbledore's face. Like he knew what I was doing. But how? It's been two years and they've suspected nothing so far! I hid my emotions by looking down at my lap, a shaky smile making it's way over my face, "What do you mean?"  
Dumbledore shifted slightly in his seat "I understand, Miss Potter. How about we try with something a little simpler? Where do you sleep at Privet Drive?" From the corner of my eye I could see the others' faces become confused.  
"In-in my room, Professor. What has this got to do with anything?" My smile kept it's place on my face but I could hear the unwarranted desperation slip into my voice.  
"What room? Your Aunt and Uncle share a room. Your cousin has a room. When Remus collected you today you weren't in the same room as Harry, and his room only has one bed. I'll ask again, where do you sleep?" his voice remained calm but his posture became stiffer.  
I laughed nervously, crossing my legs. What do I do? I don't know how to get myself out of this. "I normally sleep in Harry's room but D-Dudley was away for most of the holidays so I used his room." I lied smoothly, my face remaining blank.  
Remus' brow wrinkled. "Dudley was there, Stace." I stared at him, my eyes literally begging him not to do this to me.  
"Be that as it may," Dumbledore interrupted "why were you handcuffed to the bed?" the smile slipped from my face. What the fuck do I say? I looked around the table, catching Mrs Weasley's eye. She gave me a comforting nods. She's practically been a mother to Harry and I. My resolve hardened. "I don't have to answer this."  
"Potter, this is for your own good." Professor Moody growled, raising slightly from his chair. I reacted quickly, pushing my chair further from the table and readying myself to get up and run.  
" _For your own good" _Uncle's words floated around my head. _His belt came down harder._ _"Think of the good it'll do you, freak. Beat the magic out of you!" Dudley's laughter surrounded me. Uncle leaned in close, his nose inches from mine. "Anyone, and I mean anyone at all finds out, think of what'll happen to the Boy!" he whispered harshly, spit flying into my face. _  
Remus and Sirius stood up as well, Remus stepping slightly towards me. They were going to hurt me. They were going to hurt Harry. I need to protect Harry! Harry -  
The chandelier above our heads exploded, sending beams of lights all around the wall. The table and chairs were broken, scattered all over the floor. The wallpaper was slightly torn but mostly just singed a bit. As I observed the wreck that was, moments before, a rather posh room, I took note of the positioning of the adults. They were all at the back of the room.  
Remus and Mr Weasley seemed to be held to the wall. They could move their arms and legs, I think. Mrs Weasley and Professor McGonagall were at the back of the room but they couldn't come any closer. It was like there was something preventing them getting any closer. Professor Dumbledore, Mad-eye and Sirius were spread eagled on the wall. It appeared that they couldn't move at all. Everyone looked at me with expressions of shock on their faces.  
It was clear that I'd done it again. I think it might be a defensive thing. My magic lashing out whenever I feel threatened. But this time was a little different. No one was knocked out - for a start. It kind of looks like my magic must assess the level of threat. All the women were free to move, just not too close to me. The men were held back. Logically, the ones that I know could really harm me, or, more importantly, Harry, are really held back. And they could hurt Harry and I. Sirius was the one that caused all this. If Dumbledore acts on any of his suspicions Harry would get hurt. Mad-Eye just reminds me of Barty Crouch from last year. My subconscious just doesn't want a repeat of that.  
"Miss Potter, we're trying to help you! Why won't you let us?" Although Dumbledore spoke calmly, I could see the hidden emotions in his eyes, though he still wouldn't look at me.  
"I don't _need _your help! And I'm warning you. All of you" I added, glaring at the others, the threat to Harry making me more confident, if a little angry "If you keep digging where you don't need to, the consequences will be bad. I've - We've handled everything on our own so far, we don't need you sticking your noses in now!" Before he could respond to my denial I turned and walked back to the Dining room, clasping my shaking hands before me.


	5. Chapter 5

As I left the room I heard a few thumps, signifying that my magic had stopped holding them down. The further from the room I walked the more scared I became. I'd fought against them. They'd be angry. They'd hurt me. My breaths became faster and faster. They'd hurt Harry. I couldn't breath. I stumbled into the dining room. Harry, Harry can help. Where's Harry! I clutched at my throat, looking wildly around for Harry.  
Someone wrapped their arms around me. I tried to get away. They just strengthened their hold. Harry. It was Harry. It was okay. He's okay. My breathes slowed as he rubbed my back soothingly. The sound from the room came back and I could hear him muttering calming things in my ear. I shakily pulled away, giving my twin a half smile. He looked at me worriedly, our identical eyes locking.  
"What happened?" he questioned lowly.  
"Don't worry about it, nothing. What have you guys been doing?" I answered. Protecting Harry.  
A frustrated look overcame his face. "No, Stace! Not nothing! It's always _nothing_, you always say that it's nothing and it never is! Why won't you just tell me!"  
"Harry, it really isn't important. They just wanted to talk-"  
"No, not about this. Well, about this but what about everything else?" he stepped closer to me "Why didn't you tell me about the Dursleys and what they were - what they've been _doing_?" his voice cracked.  
I stepped away from him, only half a step but I saw his eyes flash with hurt. "Harry," I swallowed "what do you mean? You've known about the Dursleys, how could you not have?"  
The others were in the room as well, all the Weasley children, including the older ones, and Hermione. They looked at us, sympathy in their eyes.  
"How could I not have?!" he roared at me. It's _Harry. Harry's safe. _"Why didn't you tell me? Hell, Stace, how long has this even been going on?" He ran a hand through his hair in anger. A few years ago I would have cried by now. My Harry is shouting at me. Just shows how much I really owe the Dursleys, they've made me stronger.  
"Harry, this is our whole childhood! How old are we now? 15, we're 15. How could you not know? And don't try and blame this on me. This is how we grew up! Why do you suddenly have a problem with it?" I hissed back at him. I heard a few intakes of breath, more than there should have been. I looked away from Harry's angry eyes to see the shocked faces of our friends.  
"Our whole childhood! There is no way that they could've been doing _that_ to you for that long and me not notice!" he spoke, desperation colouring his words  
What does he mean by that? "What do you mean by _'that'_?" I questioned him cautiously. This could be a turning point.  
"I mean about them fucking raping you all summer holiday long! Merlin, Stace, why didn't you just tell me!"  
"Oh, grow _up_ Harry! Of course you knew, how thick can you be?" he was making me angry. Couldn't he see that I'd been doing this for him? "What do you _think _has been happening in Dudley's and Uncle's rooms for the past two fucking years?! Don't try to play stupid! You knew exactly what was going on!" I screamed back at him. How could he be blaming me?!  
He looked like I'd hit him. "Two-two years?" he stuttered, stepping away from me. I knew that our friends were listening but I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed to look after Harry.  
"Harry," I said in a much calmer tone. "It doesn't really matter, does it? It's been going on this long, your fine, I'm fine. What's the problem?"  
"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" he shouted, my words clearly doing nothing to calm him down. "You're being fucking raped by our relatives that are meant to be looking after us! That's the problem! I know the Dursleys aren't the best of guardians. They don't always feed us. You still sleep in a cupboard. But I never thought they'd _hurt_ us!"  
He doesn't understand. He's clearly confused. "Harry, they're not hurting us." I spoke softly continuing to talk over his incredulous splutters. "They're hurting _me_! That's so much better! You're not being hurt Harry, you're safe, and that's all that matters."  
"_I'm safe?_" he finally worded his incredulous splutters. How could I make him see. "Stace... have you been taking... punishments for me?"  
I laughed lowly, the Dursleys, punish Harry? I don't think so. He's everyone's golden boy. "Are you that naive? They don't _want_ to punish you! No one does! Your everyone's favourite! If they had the option: Hit the Harry or Stacey, which one of us do you think they'd hit?" I laughed again, more mockingly, "Don't tell me you haven't noticed it. You got moved _out _of the cupboard, I got left _in._ I got punished for the snake." He went to interrupt me. "No, Harry, you got locked in the cupboard, I got whacked with a belt! You got bars on you window and had two meals a day after the Dobby mess. I got locked in the cupboard for three days without leaving. No food, no bathroom, no nothing! I wasn't even in the fucking room when the cake exploded, I was already in the cupboard! You blew up Aunt Marge and then legged it without me. I got beat because you were gone and they didn't have anyone to punish!" I took a breath. "But that's okay." I spoke softly, looking him in the eyes, relaxing my posture and unclenching my hands. "That's all okay because I love you. Your my brother and I will always protect you. In fact, I'm happy it's me, not you."  
"Why... why would you think that?" he slurred after a moment. "That's just the Dursleys. Everything else is even, right?" He's trying to justify it to himself. I can't understand why, it's perfectly fine. He's just better than me.  
"Sorry, Harry, hate to burst your 2 year thick bubble!" I joked, trying to make him grin. No? Okay, no smiles then. "Quirrell, you got knocked out, I had some one on one with the Dark Lord in the back of a teachers head. Tom Riddle, the cruciatus curse. Remus pretty much beat me up in werewolf form. Last year, you were battling Voldemort. I was dealing with all of those Death eaters..." I trailed off, instantly regretting everything I'd just spilled.  
He blinked "I-I know. I just never saw it that way." he shrugged it off, "But the Dursleys? Why now? What triggered-?"  
"Oh what do you think Harry?" He's not stupid! He already knows all of this. "You come back from third year, raving to them about your murdering God father." I put on Uncle's voice. It was a poor attempt but at least Harry got it. "_Uh-oh, his godfather's a murderer! We can't take out any of our anger on the Boy any more! We can't even shout at him like normal. I know, let's all take our frustration at the Boy out on the Girl." _I stopped my impression. "Let's face it Harry. They were already beating and starving me. They couldn't yell at you any more because they were scared of Sirius. That anger they have at you got pointed at me. I didn't think you could get much worse than no food and beatings but, apparently, I was wrong!" I said with a little grin. Harry's sad. He's-he's crying? No, I protect him from everything.  
"You mean that, because they couldn't yell at me they started r-" he started. I didn't want him to finish it, he was more than upset at the moment.  
"Raping me. Yes they were. It's not your fault, it's not their fault. It's no one's fault but mine. I used to trick myself into thinking that it was Sirius, hell, a part of me still thinks it's his fault. But it's not. It's all down to me. But, again, it's okay, I'm protecting you like always!" I smiled and reached for his hand, squeezing it. "So don't be upset, I'm fine."  
"Well, I think that's all the proof we need to take action, don't you?" Lupin questioned from the doorway.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus and Mrs Weasley stepped slowly into the room. The room went completely silent, including Harry and I, the only sound coming from us were the ragged breaths from our argument.  
"What?" I snapped, still a little angry.  
"Proof." Remus smiled. "You wouldn't tell us in there. You refused to answer."  
I dropped Harry's hand and turned completely to face them. "This isn't proof. You can't use this as proof!"  
"Stace, you just admitted to everything. Why wouldn't you just tell us earlier?" Sirius asked me gently, sadness tingeing his words.  
I spluttered for a moment. What are they going to do? I don't understand. Why are they doing this? "Why do you _need _evidence? What are you going to do with it?" I bit out.  
Confusion took over Mrs Weasley's face. "We're going to arrest those muggles so that-"  
"WHAT? Why would you do that?" I cut off. Harry came up behind me and squeezed my should. Oh, Harry. I'm angry. Stop! Stop being angry. The more emotion you show the more they can use it against you.  
"Why wouldn't they do that? They've been abusing you!" I turned to Harry, betrayed that he'd side with them. Against me.  
"What? Why are you on their side? You've known about this! Why would you suddenly want them arrested? You've been fine about it." I argued, confused as to why he wasn't on my side.  
"We just had this discussion Stace. I didn't know. If I'd known then I would have stopped it! It was wrong!"  
"How was it wrong?" my question was met by many gasps.  
"Stacey...You do understand that... what your relatives did to you... it was wrong?" Remus stuttered hesitantly. He stepped towards me slightly. I stepped back towards Harry. Safety. How has it come to this? I used to trust Remus so much, with my life even. When did it change?  
"What they did was normal. Parents send children to bed without dinner all the time. And lock them in their room when they've misbehaved. How is this different?" I kept my face neutral, scared to give too many of my emotions away.  
Their faces blanched. Mrs Weasley took a shaky step backwards but raised her hand towards me. "There's a difference, sweetie," She looked so heartbroken... "between starving a child and sending them to bed without dinner. And between locking them in their room for a few hours and locking them in a cupboard for days. What they did to you, that wasn't discipline. That was torture."  
I need to make them understand. "But I deserve it. I misbehave all year which means when I go back they have to punish me. Why don't you understand?" I explained, slightly distraught. I could hear my friends being ushered out of the room along with Harry. Why have they taken Harry?!  
Sirius tentatively stepped closer to me. Upon seeing my lack of reaction he came closer until he was in front of me. "No... no Stace. This isn't... what they're doing, it's not... it's not right." he explained gently. "The _Dursleys_," he spat their name "are sick, twisted people. They aren't punishing you, there's nothing to punish you for. They're hurting you because they _can._ Because we've been to stupid to realise what was going on." He looked down as he said the last bit, ashamed of his imagined failure.  
"It's not..." he looked back up at me, expecting me to reject his theory about the Dursleys. "It's not your fault." I smiled weakly, trying to pull my normal bravado out. It wasn't working.  
Remus took this time to step towards me as well, standing next to Sirius. They both looked troubled, and slightly ashamed. Of what, I can't quite see. Mrs Weasley had slipped off so I was alone with them. Alone with them. Alone... with them.  
On the inside I was panicking. Sirius said that the Dursleys weren't punishing me because they had nothing to punish me for. What if they, Sirius and Remus, find something to punish me for. If I do something wrong, they'll punish me the way Uncle does. I don't want...  
"Stace... do you understand now." Remus questioned. I nodded my head slowly, too afraid to speak. Too afraid to look them in the eyes. Too afraid to walk away.  
Sirius whispered something to Remus ,who nodded in turn. Sirius walked off. What are they doing? My attention was brought back by Remus.  
"Now, Stace. I need to talk to you. Professor Dumbledore has decided that you need some medical attention. Is that okay? It's just Madame Pomfrey. Sirius has gone to get her. She'll check to see where you're hurt and then ask you some questions. That's okay, isn't it?" his voice was gentle but all I heard was the threat. _Medical attention. _That's what Vernon had said about that Doctor. He was so awful. He hurt my-  
I was, again, cut off by someone entering the room. I looked away from Remus to see Madam Pomfrey.  
"Miss Potter, if you'd like to follow me to your bedroom. I think I'll do my inspection there where there will be some privacy, do you think?" she turned to Remus, who nodded and gestured to the stairs.  
She kicked everyone out of the room I was sharing with Harry and Ron. Everyone had been congregated there, discussing something in rather heated voices.  
Madam Pomfrey asked me to take a seat on the bed. I did so hesitantly, waiting for the painful bit.  
"Now, where does it hurt?" she asked.  
"It doesn't-" I went to deny until she cut me off.  
"Don't try that Miss Potter. As well as you have been trying to hide it, I can quite clearly tell that your right arm, leg and side are hurt. As is your abdomen. Now let me see." she commanded.  
I shakily rolled up the sleeve of Harry's jacket. My arm was littered in scars. There was only one fresh one, which Uncle had added before he left.  
Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips, observing me. This may be easier if you just undress." I immediately shook my head. "I deal with matters of this nature all the time and with the amount of times you've been in the hospital wing this shouldn't be a surprise!" she spoke sharply. "I need you to do this. You have my word as a healer that you'll be perfectly safe." I nodded, and she waved her wand, leaving me in my underwear, my clothes folded neatly in the corner of the room.  
For the next few moments she dressed any of my cuts that were yet to heal, gave me a few potions to drink, which I guardedly did. My head felt clearer than it had for a few days. She gave me some ointment that she said I should rub onto my bruises every day before I go to sleep. I got dressed back into my clothes, a little stiffly because of the bandages.  
"I need to ask you a few questions now. They won't be the most comfortable for you to answer but I do ask that you try your hardest to answer. Do you have any questions before I start." The old Matron looked slightly regretful.  
"Are you... will you tell anyone what I say?" I asked hesitantly, this could really change my answers.  
"As a healer I have to give you privacy, although if anything you say could put anyone in danger, including yourself, I have to tell Professor Dumbledore or one of you godfathers. Do you understand?"  
I nodded. As long as nothing I said could hurt anyone then this would be private. I wanted this to be private.  
"First question. How regular were your meals at Privet drive."  
I hesitated, I didn't really know. "I'm not too sure... In the five weeks we were there I'd had four meals. Well, three and a half."  
Her face didn't change, which was good. "What did these meals consist of?"  
"Leftovers, I think. Um, cheese, bread, fat, soup. I don't really remember." I shook my head, trying to clear it of the fog that was blocking my memories.  
We continued like this for a while, her asking me questions, never reacting, and me answering as precisely as I could. She asked about the beatings, if anything had been broken. How small the cupboard was, where I got some of my scars from, things like that.  
"Now, this may be a little more tender." she introduced, "but when was the first time one of your relatives inappropriately touched you?"  
"Inappropriately? What like-"  
"Sexually." Well, this got very awkward, very quickly.  
Looking back on my childhood I realised she most definitely would not like the answer. "When I was... when I was five." On her look of alarm, which was the most emotion she'd shown during this entire interrogation, I quickly tried to cover myself. "No, but it wasn't like it is now. It was just forced kissing and stuff! And only when Aunt rejected him!" I think I may have made this worse.  
She composed herself "and stuff? Like what?"  
I met her expectant gaze, my eyes flashing back down. "Like... like hand jobs and blow jobs." I muttered, my cheeks flaring red out of the embarrassment._I just said that in front of a teacher!_  
_"_Right, and when was the first time your uncle actually penetrated you. Or your cousin." How is she not embarrassed to say that?  
"When I was thirteen for my Uncle. Dudley started this summer because he's sixteen now so it's legal." I answered casually, monitoring her reaction.  
"Miss Potter, please understand, it's still not legal. Any kind of forced sexual contact is illegal in both the muggle and wizarding world. Now, I must ask, where did you get that scar on your abdomen?"  
I looked down to see what she was speaking of. Ah. There was a long scar going from one side of my pelvis to the other. "The summer before fourth year, just before the Weasleys came to pick us up." I half answered, hoping that she wouldn't push it any further.  
"What from?" she asked, leaning forwards.  
I'll just have to answer "Uncle didn't realise that the Weasleys were picking me up as well. He thought it was just Harry. He's arranged an appointment with an out of work Doctor he knows for later on in the summer. Obviously, because I would be at the Weasleys' that would be too late for the Doctor to do his job. The Doctor couldn't move the appointment to any earlier so Aunt made Uncle do it himself before the Dursleys came." I swallowed. I really didn't want to answer this question. Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth to push me further. "I don't want.. Can I not answer this?"  
"Miss Potter. I promise that this will be the last question. Just answer it and you can leave." she explained gently.  
"Uncle, he cut my- my stomach open. He stitched it up himself afterwards." she looked a bit confused but I've already started now. May as well just blunder on. "He needed the Doctor to get the- the baby out. He'd impregnated me earlier in the summer and had only realised a week before. The doctor was going to do it for him, and not tell anyone. But I was leaving. So he did it himself." a tear ran down my cheek.  
Madam Pomfrey looked saddened. "That's enough for today. I'll take my leave now." She went to touch me on the way out but thought better of it, which I'm thankful for.  
_Stop crying_ I chastised myself. I haven't cried in so long and I'm not going to start now. I stepped out of the room, to see something flesh coloured shoot around the corner. "What on earth..?" I muttered as I changed route. I was going to go up to see Hermione or someone, but instead I followed this thing. I came around the corner to see that it was attached to a piece of string, leading into Fred and George's room. Absolute fury overtook my sadness as I realised what it was. And Extendable Ear. They'd been bloody well spying on me!


End file.
